WARNING! Blogpost not recommended for anyone who isn't equipped to deal with emotional shit. Carry on at own risk, writer not responsible for consequences.
"How are you?" they ask. "Fine" I answer. Why? Because that's what we're taught to answer. You don't ask because you actually care how the other person is doing, you ask because it's polite. And I guess the polite thing to answer is "fine". Somehow society has trained us into thinking it's not ok to not be ok. It has somehow become shameful to be sad, as if sadness is the mark of failure.
Fuck that. I say it's quite the opposite.
I have lived and learned and loved to the fullest all of my 26 years. It has not always been easy, many tears I have cried, many times my heart has been broken, many people I have lost. But also many laughs I have laughed, many people I have met, many hearts I have cherished.
It's ok not to be ok.
How are you, Cecilia?
I'm sad.
I'm scared.
I'm lonely.
I'm anxious.
I'm sad because I'm moving away from my hometown. I'm scared because I'm moving to a new city. I'm lonely because I'm leaving behind so many good friends and anxious because I don't know if I'll find new ones. Does that make me unhappy? Does that mean I'm living in despair? No.
I love to love. I love to feel. I love to live. Every feeling I feel, every person I meet, every tear that I cry is part of my life and makes me who I am. Without all these elements, my life would be a boring blend of days. Today I feel sad. So I'll remember this day as the day I felt sad. And scared. And lonely. And anxious. I'll remember this day as the day I felt all of these things, but still managed to feel happy.
"How are you?" they ask. "Fine" I answer. Why? Because that's what we're taught to answer. You don't ask because you actually care how the other person is doing, you ask because it's polite. And I guess the polite thing to answer is "fine". Somehow society has trained us into thinking it's not ok to not be ok. It has somehow become shameful to be sad, as if sadness is the mark of failure.
Fuck that. I say it's quite the opposite.
I have lived and learned and loved to the fullest all of my 26 years. It has not always been easy, many tears I have cried, many times my heart has been broken, many people I have lost. But also many laughs I have laughed, many people I have met, many hearts I have cherished.
It's ok not to be ok.
How are you, Cecilia?
I'm sad.
I'm scared.
I'm lonely.
I'm anxious.
I'm sad because I'm moving away from my hometown. I'm scared because I'm moving to a new city. I'm lonely because I'm leaving behind so many good friends and anxious because I don't know if I'll find new ones. Does that make me unhappy? Does that mean I'm living in despair? No.
I love to love. I love to feel. I love to live. Every feeling I feel, every person I meet, every tear that I cry is part of my life and makes me who I am. Without all these elements, my life would be a boring blend of days. Today I feel sad. So I'll remember this day as the day I felt sad. And scared. And lonely. And anxious. I'll remember this day as the day I felt all of these things, but still managed to feel happy.
"You mus live in the present,
launch yourself on every wave,
find your eternity in each moment.
Fools stand on their island of opportunities
and look toward another land.
There is no other land;
there is no other life
but this."
- Henry David Thoreau
You may wonder why I'm writing this post. I'm writing it, not because I'm expecting you to read it, but because I have no time to waste. Because I want to express my gratefulness towards life, even when life is not complete. Because relationships are the very essence of life, even when they hurt. Because I love so many people, even if I have not remembered to tell them so. There is no other life but this. Forget about all things that you can live without, all the things you can live with, and remember only the things you can't live without. Cry if you need to, laugh if you wish to, love when you have the chance to, forgive even when you don't want to.
And the next time you ask someone how they are doing, don't do it to be polite. Do it because you care.
And the next time someone asks you how you are doing, don't answer to be polite, but say how you feel.
